Thank You, Haters

Resistance from family and friends over goals or your desire for personal change is all too common.

Often, we’ve spent months, maybe years, thinking to ourselves about something we’d like to make a reality for ourselves only to be criticized when we finally have the strength to share our inner desire with the world.

Oh that’s crazy.

That is not healthy.

That is not normal.

Don’t get too big.

You are going to look like a man.

Don’t be so self absorbed.

Why do you want to be better than everybody?

You are being selfish with your time.

I like you the way you are now.


I liked you better before.

People in our inner circle are invested in us staying the same.   People in general are resistant to change.  

So, when you drop the big bomb that you are going to get healthy, compete in a physique competition, or run a race (OMG!), etc., the likelihood of someone in your life resisting is high. Why is that?

Maybe they truly are concerned for your health.

Take hard look at your goal and your method for achieving it. Make sure you are going about it a healthy way and you know in your heart you are doing the right thing for you.

Maybe they just don’t understand.

If it’s someone you care about, take the time to introduce him or her to whatever it is that you are up to. You’ve had years to get to this point. Catch them up.

Maybe they feel left out or are jealous or are afraid you will somehow leave them behind.

These are not feelings you can fix, but you can be kind and understanding and be the bigger person. Maybe you will be the one to be the catalyst for change in their life. Stay strong.

Maybe they truly do not like the look of lean or muscular women.

So many people are not used to seeing fit women. They do not understand the look and capabilities of an in shape female body. All you can do is hold your head high and keep moving forward. You may be an inspiration to  them someday and probably already are for having the guts to move forward even though you are going against the crowd.

In many ways, I’m thankful for those who have shown resistance to me.

They caused me to look good and hard at my choices and move forward with an intention and a confidence I would not have had if what I was doing was popular with everyone. I was forced to learn more about myself and stand up for myself. So oddly enough, the haters, the resisters, the naysayers, made me a stronger person mentally and more determined than ever to reach that goal.

There is power in making a conscious decision to do something for your own good and not just to please others.  There is power in not needing approval or applause.

Thank you, haters.

By Valerie Solomon for GORGO Magazine, reprinted with permission